family buy-in when purchasing a home

Family Buy-in When Purchasing a Home


Purchasing a home is a family decision - yea or nay? I’m sure many of you have found yourselves in this situation. You and your spouse or partner are in the quest for a home and have seen countless properties during the process. Now you’ve found one that you both agree could be your next dream home. This begs the next question - how do you feel about family buy-in on the purchase of the home. Should this important decision include the opinions of your kids, parents and/or in-laws, for example. Are they entitled to a vote and/or to weigh in on the decision? Hmmmm….

The kids - If the kids are young, the answer is fairly straightforward. All things being equal, they should see the property - and will likely love it if you do - but they don’t need to be decision makers in the process. It becomes a bit more complicated as the kids age. Their opinions do matter. They should 100% see the house and be asked their opinion. But should they be decisions makers? For example, if your 16-year-old son doesn’t like the house or want to move, should that prevent you from pursuing your dream home?

Parents and In-Laws - The same holds true with parents and in-laws - at least as I see it. You’d like their opinion, but if it’s a “no-go, should that effect your decision? To make matters more complicated, what if they are investing in the potential property? And what if your parents or in-laws live with you and/or take care of your children while you work? Perhaps they feel your potential dream house is too remote. They want a location that is walk-to-town so they can go on fun adventures with your kids during the day, and you prefer a peaceful, serene setting that is a 15 minute drive to shops, restaurants and public transportation. This is getting more difficult by the second….

My final thoughts - and the bottom line from my perspective - are that while you’d like to have buy-in and a thumbs-up vote from your children, parents and in-laws about your next potential home, it really comes down to you and your spouse or partner. A family member’s financial investment in the new home complicates matters and should be seriously considered and evaluated, but at the end of the day, this is a decision for you and your partner.

What are your thoughts on this subject? Have you found yourself in a similar scenario - where you and your spouse loved your next potential dream home and certain family members didn’t? How did you handle the situation? I can’t wait to hear…..

For more information on this or about the real estate market in Weston, Wellesley, Wayland and the surrounding towns or if you are considering selling your home, please contact me, Lisa Curlett (, 781-267-2844 or, to answer any questions or for a complimentary home appraisal.